I am grateful for all the breakups in my life. Breaking up taught me to be patient, to persevere, to be grateful for new beginnings, to turn to God, to get through tough days, to be sympathetic and empathetic with my daughters, and most importantly to be thankful for the ONE guy God endorsed for me.
PS to my Daughters: Hang in there. Your Someone is out there. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel "less than", who isn't your biggest cheerleader, who fights and argues with you to create chaos in your life, who doesn't know YOU well enough to know that you would never be disloyal. If you have any doubts, realize that a breakup will be the best thing that ever happened to you and for you.
Do wait for someone who will celebrate all that is good about you, who will always be your biggest and loudest cheerleader, who is willing to talk things through, who reaches for your hand, who loves you because you are the best thing that has ever happened to them.
This is a poem that always helped me through my breakups.
AFTER A WHILE
By Jorge Luis Borges
(revised and copyrighted by Veronica Shoffstall)
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman,
Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure…
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.